I grew up perpetually in love. I started a little early, age four, with a girl named Theresa.
I clearly remember staring out my window at the stars wide awake, thinking about her. How could I get her attention? She was older and did cool kids things. I was still into throwing spit and mud cakes at the dogs behind the preschool. I imagined myself doing all sorts of smooth daddy things to get her attention, but I chickened out and never made my move. Eventually she stopped coming to school and I moved on to my next love... Karen.
Karen had red curly hair and uhhhh a face. That's about all i remember, other than being lovesick for her. She was my next door neighbor (and my best friends sister) so I thought i had a pretty good shot. I remember sitting in my bed at night trying to sleep when the song "Just a Gigolo" came on the radio. I swear to God I pictured myself in a red tracksuit running in slow motion into her arms in a golden field. This is maybe the dumbest thing I've ever imagined, but it kept me up at night. She moved away in second grade.
I didn't change much in the love department until after I moved to California. I initially came with my girlfriend from Missouri. Job hunting by day, by night i'd draw her in charcoal... as she lay asleep or posing, on the lumpy beds in cracked out motels. It wasn't just for the keepsake, I wanted to soak up each curve and line. Drawing let me spend more time doing exactly that. It also was something you could hold in your hand that captured how head over heels I was.
After we split I learned dating in California had a waaaaaay different set of rules. And they are rules. Rule number one is don't show too much interest. Keep the phone calls to a minimum, take your time to ask her on a solo date, don't push for exclusivity. Stay cool. Rule two is keep things engaged and entertaining. If she has friends with her, keep them all smiling. Pick the right place to go, keep the champagne flowing, keep everyone talking. Rule number three is take control of the situation. Don't show indecisiveness or let yourself get pushed around.
Should you follow these rules and keep your teeth white, you have a fighting chance. A chance to at least head towards the next level. Hold your emotions in check, don't move to fast and you could find yourself:
(in order of severity)
- Always very close to going out, but never going out
- Supporting her emotionally as she tries to get back with her ex
- Having long conversations that end ambiguously
- Having sex
- Being "friends"
- Having sex several times
- Something like a girlfriend
Most of these areas were new to me. I guess they still are. I admit, I am a little dripping wet with my emotions, I am still that idiot kid and sometimes my music shows it. Dating is fun here but I think it killed that romantic in me. I still look for love, but in a sort of tongue in cheek way. Anyway, those chances are few and far between. Most of my friends are married now, but the ones that aren't... we'll they seem to be in a never ending chase. Sitting around like some kind of Aziz skit, trying to figure out if their tinder match is going to ghost them based on the last few texts. I'm usually in the same situation, and I have to wonder:
Is love just different sized fish chasing each other around the pond? Do we only love those who are squarely out of our league, or the chase itself?
Have I lived in California so long I've become too cool to love wholeheartedly?
Am I just stuck on peoples appearances like everyone else is?
Do we have so many options and distractions, are we so bent on the next best thing, that we've forgotten how to make genuine connections?
In the six months before we met, I had to go through:
Sheila
Allie
Chel
Chrissy
Estefania
Stephanie
Juliet
Jeanette
Natalie
Kaylee
Lauren
Lexie
Lynne
Rebecca
Patty
Jessica
Cheyenne
Lily
Just to find one Lianna.
I didn't sleep with these women, but I threw my hat in the ring. I started to build a connection but it didn't stick. I wonder now.. how long will the next list be?
Find out on the next exciting episode of "Sexless in the City"
Oh and Lily's number is 619-889-1764. Give her a call, she'd love to hear from you.
I clearly remember staring out my window at the stars wide awake, thinking about her. How could I get her attention? She was older and did cool kids things. I was still into throwing spit and mud cakes at the dogs behind the preschool. I imagined myself doing all sorts of smooth daddy things to get her attention, but I chickened out and never made my move. Eventually she stopped coming to school and I moved on to my next love... Karen.
Karen had red curly hair and uhhhh a face. That's about all i remember, other than being lovesick for her. She was my next door neighbor (and my best friends sister) so I thought i had a pretty good shot. I remember sitting in my bed at night trying to sleep when the song "Just a Gigolo" came on the radio. I swear to God I pictured myself in a red tracksuit running in slow motion into her arms in a golden field. This is maybe the dumbest thing I've ever imagined, but it kept me up at night. She moved away in second grade.
I didn't change much in the love department until after I moved to California. I initially came with my girlfriend from Missouri. Job hunting by day, by night i'd draw her in charcoal... as she lay asleep or posing, on the lumpy beds in cracked out motels. It wasn't just for the keepsake, I wanted to soak up each curve and line. Drawing let me spend more time doing exactly that. It also was something you could hold in your hand that captured how head over heels I was.
After we split I learned dating in California had a waaaaaay different set of rules. And they are rules. Rule number one is don't show too much interest. Keep the phone calls to a minimum, take your time to ask her on a solo date, don't push for exclusivity. Stay cool. Rule two is keep things engaged and entertaining. If she has friends with her, keep them all smiling. Pick the right place to go, keep the champagne flowing, keep everyone talking. Rule number three is take control of the situation. Don't show indecisiveness or let yourself get pushed around.
Should you follow these rules and keep your teeth white, you have a fighting chance. A chance to at least head towards the next level. Hold your emotions in check, don't move to fast and you could find yourself:
(in order of severity)
- Always very close to going out, but never going out
- Supporting her emotionally as she tries to get back with her ex
- Having long conversations that end ambiguously
- Having sex
- Being "friends"
- Having sex several times
- Something like a girlfriend
Most of these areas were new to me. I guess they still are. I admit, I am a little dripping wet with my emotions, I am still that idiot kid and sometimes my music shows it. Dating is fun here but I think it killed that romantic in me. I still look for love, but in a sort of tongue in cheek way. Anyway, those chances are few and far between. Most of my friends are married now, but the ones that aren't... we'll they seem to be in a never ending chase. Sitting around like some kind of Aziz skit, trying to figure out if their tinder match is going to ghost them based on the last few texts. I'm usually in the same situation, and I have to wonder:
Is love just different sized fish chasing each other around the pond? Do we only love those who are squarely out of our league, or the chase itself?
Have I lived in California so long I've become too cool to love wholeheartedly?
Am I just stuck on peoples appearances like everyone else is?
Do we have so many options and distractions, are we so bent on the next best thing, that we've forgotten how to make genuine connections?
In the six months before we met, I had to go through:
Sheila
Allie
Chel
Chrissy
Estefania
Stephanie
Juliet
Jeanette
Natalie
Kaylee
Lauren
Lexie
Lynne
Rebecca
Patty
Jessica
Cheyenne
Lily
Just to find one Lianna.
I didn't sleep with these women, but I threw my hat in the ring. I started to build a connection but it didn't stick. I wonder now.. how long will the next list be?
Find out on the next exciting episode of "Sexless in the City"
Oh and Lily's number is 619-889-1764. Give her a call, she'd love to hear from you.
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